ANNOUNCEMENTS

**WOW!!!** NEW GOLD OFFER AT COMPANY CAFETERIA EXCLUSIVE FOR CUSTOMERS

DEAR CUSTOMERS: Once again it is International World Hispanic Diversity Day!! so we have great news, a GOLD OFFER for all customers at the company cafeteria!!!! EXCLUSIVE SPANISH FOOD GOURMET SPECIAL!! Thank you foreign language learning center employees! 🐼🐒🐵 All world citizens who are not racist will definitely spend a lot of money on this!!1 …

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***WARNING*** FAKE NEWS!!! DO NOT BELIEVE LIES!

Dear all customers: I am SHOCKED :O absolutely disgusting baseless false completely untrue and wild dangerous disinformation WARNING: the conspiracy theory of the “Nicholas kill-list” is spreading on campus once again since the latest female customer was found hanging in the toilet. False lies! To clarify: Chief discipliner Nicholas is professional and only administers hard …

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***ANNOUNCEMENT*** – CEO CALLS FOR BIGGEST REVOLUTION IN ICHK LLC HISTORY

Dear fellow customers/students, As the CEO of ICHK LLC, I have to say that we have come a long way; from our humble beginnings almost a decade ago with only a few predominantly cisgender classes, I am very proud to say that we now have hundreds of classes composed of customers with a very diverse …

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***ANNOUNCEMENT*** – NO SHITTING IN THE URINALS

THAT IS ENOUGH. this is last warning for all customers/students. NO MORE SHIT IN THE URINALS (except customers of developmental class who have already paid additional ICHK shekels for bonus cleaning services) our cleaning employees found this in the C block underground dungeon gender fluid toilet number 3: THIS WILL NOT BE ALLOWED. SHITTING IN …

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*****VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT***** – INTRODUCING FLEXIBLE EXCHANGE™

NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS NO REFUNDS thanks to the many technology of mr ross, all students/customers are now eligible for access to ALL NEW FLEXIBLE EXCHANGE™!!!! special thanks to recent Black Lives Matter© bake sale for funding this project. here students/customers can exchange any worldwide …

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